Resident Evil: Code Fiction
by ron4life
Summary: A collection of stories based on the cast from Resident Evil trying to live their normal lives in New York City, though life doesn't always go as planned for the gang as they constantly brew up a new pot of havoc everyday.
1. The Game

**Resident Evil**

**THE GAME**

… **Chris' Apartment …**

Jill's eyes shifted between the other two. Her heart beat increased as her hands tightened. Chris nodded as she leaned forward.

"Sorry boys, but it looks like I'll be the only one going home with the spoils today." She placed down her cards, revealing a royal flush. Barry, Leon, and Chris all sighed with disappointment.

"YOU GO JILL!! KICK THEIR ASSES!!" Chris turned from the table to face his sister sitting on the ground, cross legged, watching TV in the poorly lit room.

"Claire, I thought I told you to stay out of this. Now watch your shows or go back to your own place." Claire stuck her tongue out as she turned around, Jill laughing.

"Now, now Chris, don't be like that just because your loosing to a GIRL." Leon looked at his watch once more, standing up as he grabbed onto his jacket.

"Well, I'd love to stay bu-"

"I have to go and wait for a certain someone who may or may not appear tonight."

"I have to go and wait for a certain someone who may or may not appear tonight."

"I have to go and wait for a certain someone who may or may not appear tonight."

"I have to go and wait for a certain someone who may or may not appear tonight."

All four of them said at once, mocking the desperate child. He rolled his eyes as he left the apartment.

"Pathetic. When will the boy just give up and find himself a real girlfriend." Barry said as he shuffled the cards. Jill eyed Chris. He huffed at her.

"The fact that you're a girl doesn't't make me mad about losing to you. It's no different then losing to a guy."

"And what is THAT suppose to mean? You think us girls are the same as guys? That we can't do any better then them because of the fact were girls?"

"You go girlfriend!" Claire yelled out as she faced the TV. She could feel her brothers eyes pierce through the back of her shirt as she giggled to herself.

"I really didn't mean anything by it. Were all the same here, now can we just drop it?"

"Oh, so you think we ARE the same? We'll, why don't we put that to the test?" Jill waved over Claire. She leaped up as she ran over to her.

"PLEASE! You can't be serious." Chris said as he stop himself from laughing.

"That's right. You and Barry against me and Claire. Winner takes all." Chris turned to Barry.

"What game?" Barry asked, intrigued by their new "game".

"How about… Canasta!" Claire suggested. Chris eyed her.

"How do you know how to play a complicated game like that, yet alone pronounce it?" He tease. Jill gave him the evil eye as he suddenly felt goose bumps rise up his arm.

"I think it's a great idea." Jill said, holding her had out as she received the deck of cards. Claire sat in Leon's former seat, across from Jill, as Jill shuffled then held out the deck to the others.

"I'm in. Chris?" Barry asked.

"We cut the deck and who ever has the highest card will start the round." Chris ginned, his hand reaching out as he was the first to cut. Barry went next the Claire. Jill placed the cards down as she cut for herself. They all showed their cards at the same time.

"I got a five" Barry put the cards back towards the deck.

"I have a ten! Woo-hoo!" Claire cheered.

"King beats Queen. I guess Chris will start us off." Jill said as she handed him the cards. And thus, their game began.

… **Café Downtown …**

Leon sat in the usual seat. The waiter brought him his usual, a large glass of water, as he constantly looked at his watch.

"She'll be here soon. I'm sure of it." The waiter waked away, rolling his eyes. The sun was no where in sight. The city of New York was brilliantly gorgeous at night when all the crime was blocked by the darkness.

"Leon…" He swiftly turned as the woman took her seat, waving her hair as she removed her dark glasses.

"What took you?" He asked, grinning as he sipped his water.

"Been waiting long?" Leon turned his head, waving over the waiter.

"Not really." He lied. A man ran towards them, approaching them as he came to a stop.

"Miss, I think you dropped this." He handed her the wallet he had picked up from the ground. Embarrassed, she swiftly grabbed it from him.

"Appreciated."

"Do you mind if I ask your name?" She smiled, looking up at the man.

"My name? I'm Ada… Ada Wong." Leon looked at her with such fascination. The man slowly walked away as the waiter impatiently waited for them to order.

"I'm so glad you came."

"I know. I seem to have that effect on people." The waiter decided to cut them off from their insane talk before they got too drawn in.

"What will it be ma'am?" Ada looked at her menu for a quick second before closing it.

"It looks like I'll be having the double helping of steak, as well as the lobster, cheesy fries and a large coke. Wait! Make that… diet coke. A girls got to look thin." The waiter looked at her with amazement as he nodded and walked away.

"Hey! Wait! I didn't give my order yo-"

"Leon!" Ada cut him off.

"Ah- yeah?" She turned away, looking into the distance.

"It's nice to see you again." He drifted away into his own little world once again as nothing else seemed to matter.

… **Chris' Apartment …**

"WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR TINY LITTLE KIFE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR…" Jill held onto Claire's shoulder, calmer her down as Chris looked away.

"Children." He said before he fell off his chair from a shoe to the head. Claire looked up at Jill who was holding onto the second shoe.

"This one's going right up your…"

"Childr- ah, guys. Cut it out!" Barry said as Jill dropped the shoe and Chris returned to his seat.

"Then make him stop crying just because we won fair and square."

"Oh yeah, and were suppose to trust a talented woman like you just so happen to draw the right card at the very last second?" Barry face palmed as Claire turned to run to the front door, grabbing more shoes for Jill, when a light knock came from it.

"Hello!" Claire said as she answered. Leon walked in, his shirt torn almost completely apart. The all looked towards him, asking the same question.

"Dude, what happened!?" Chris stood up from his seat.

"She was there. We had an amazing dinner. Then, we talked as I walked her home." He panted as Claire closed the door behind him.

"And then she mugged you?" Claire joked as she walked with him to the middle of the room.

"Well, we came across these three guys. These three really tough guys. They were not friends of Ada, nor very kind."

"So you took them on!?" Jill asked.

"Yeah. Well, if by took them on you mean run like hell."

"Well if they didn't get to you, what happened?" Claire asked as he sat down on the couch.

"Well, after getting away, we ran into these very hungry looking dogs. Ada did some secret agent work and got away. I tried to climb a fence, fell down, scrapped my knee, and played with the dog a bit. But enough about me. How's the card game going?"

"Got cheated out of yet another game." Jill's hand smashed against the back of his head as he yelled at her. Jill yelled back as Claire ran towards the door, grabbing as many shoes as possible. Barry ran from the table, not wanting to get caught up in all the flying shoes. Leon looked more confused then ever. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the bill from the café marked with, what he assumed was, Ada's lipstick.

"Ada, I'll see you there next week." Ada stood on the roof across from the apartment. She stared at Leon as she smiled.

"Leon… Until next time." A small burp escaped from her lips as her hand flew to them. She nervously looked around, making sure no one had herd before taking off into the darkness of the night.

_Ronald Bedard_


	2. Hand Gun

**Resident Evil**

**HAND GUN**

… **Claire's Apartment …**

"Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Claire threw the puzzle all over the floor, frustrated by the many shapes and colours. Her foot smashed into the pieces before she pulled out the hand gun from the couch-side table drawer and placed five rounds into the puzzle, as well as the wooden floor.

"Damn it… I need more bullets." She put the gun back, grabbing her vest and leaving the house in a hurry. She walked down the stairs, only tripping once, as she headed to the gun shop. Her legs started out in a hurry though moved slower as she went by all the stores.

"I guess I could go in here for a bit." She made her way into the music store. Her eyes scanned the labels before stopping at the new Cascada mix. Her hand reached out only to be placed on top of another. She looked over at the boy. His light brown hair reached just below his eyes, his bangs parted. He wore a green shirt with a short sleeved jean jacket over it. He turned as their eyes met for the first time.

"Wow. You don't seem like the type who would hold a strangers hand." Claire blushed, pushing him aside.

"Back off, buddy! I just want the CD is all." He let out a laugh.

"You do know there's another copy in back of it."

"I DON'T WANT THAT ONE!"

"Okay, okay! Don't get all worked up. Here, have it." He tried to calm her down so that the people would stop looking at them. She smiled as she took off to the cash.

"Will that be all?" Claire nodded as she took out her bank card.

"You're welcome!" Claire turned to face him.

"Thanks." She said in an emotionless tone.

"My names Steve by the way, in case you were wondering."

"Well I wasn't." She swiped the card, punching in the six numbered pin.

"What's your name?" She sighed, grabbing the bag once the man put the receipt inside, thanking him.

"Claire." He smiled like a child in a candy store.

"Clear, I'll remember that." Her top teeth pressed against her bottom lip as she resisted the urge to knock the shit out of the boy.

"Whatever." She walked to the doors.

"Bye Clear!" She grunted as she walked out the doors, mumbling to herself about carrying her gun with her at all times from now on.

… **Jill's Apartment …**

Chris turned off the TV as he made his way to the kitchen table.

"What's on the menu for today?" Jill placed the large lump of green on the table.

"It's shepherds pie!" She placed the bottle of ketchup beside it with an anxious smile.

"Lets… dig in." He pierced it with his fork, cutting a sliver out of it as the inside leaked out corn and various meat products. He smelled the meat and placed the piece down.

"What's wrong?" She asked, worried.

"Umm, did you cook the meat before putting it in?" She laughed.

"Of course not! It's a pie which means there's no actually cooking directly involved. Just throw it in the oven for a few seconds and POW!" Chris played with the piece he had cut out.

"It's POW alright." Jill sat down, frustrated.

"I can't do this Chris. It's too hard." He pushed the dish aside, hoping it would fall into a black hole.

"Come on now, I'll help you. I'm sure it can't be that hard." He got up, holding his hand out to Jill. With a smile, she let him help her up as they both walked into the kitchen.

… **Downtown …**

Claire continued to make her way to the gun store, stopping at a clothing store on the way.

"How does this look?" A voice echoed through the store.

"Marvellous dear sister. Absolutely marvellous! Ma-ma-mahaha." She ignored them, looking at the tops. She walked down one of the aisles, close to the changing room, before stopping as she tugged on one shirt.

"YOU! Get away from here, AT ONCE! This is MY territory." Claire ignored the voice, completely into the shirt she had found.

"Unacceptable! How dare you ignore my glorious, self righteous, amazing."

"Alfred, that's enough." She cut him off, walking up to Claire. She pulled the shirt out of her hand as Claire grunted, turning around to face her.

"What is it? The stores not big enough for another person, or your just pissed because your precious brother over there is holding back from telling you that the dress you have on makes you look like a tornado collided with you, threw you up and then a herd of monkeys violently threw feces at you?" The woman sharply turned to her brother, giving him the dirtiest look ever.

"I am Alexia Ashford, daughter of Alexander Ashford from the Ashford Hotel. One of the most famous and powerful buildings in the world!" Claire chuckled.

"So in other words, you're a spoiled girl with a lot of cash to blow around." Alexia huffed. Her face turned redder and redder. Claire giggled as she put the top back and waved before walking out. All she heard from behind her was Alexia screaming at Alfred.

… **Jill's Apartment …**

The kitchen filled with dark smoke as the oven door opened. Both of them coughed as they removed the pile of ashes.

"So… I think it's only fair that you have the first taste." Jill said as Chris tried to fan out the smoke.

"I don't think cookies are suppose to look like that. So much for desert." Jill sighed as she sat back down.

"How about we try pancakes?" Chris grabbed the phone.

"I think we've burnt enough things today. How does Chinese sound?"

"Best idea all night." She said with a smile.

… **Ally Way …**

Claire waked down the dark ally, finally admitting to herself that she was lost.

"Hey cutie pie!" A man yelled to her as she swiftly turned.

"Why don't you go harass someone else." The man laughed as two more came out in back of her. They slowly walked closer.

"Calm down hun. We just want to have a little fun is all." Her hand clutched into fists as she prepared for them to attack.

"Take this!" A loud TING sound surrounded them as the man wobbled forward. Claire took the opportunity and roundhouse kick him in the face. He fell to the ground as the other two turned and ran away.

"Who's there!?" Claire yelled out.

"Your prince in shinning armour has arrived! Steve to the rescue!" Claire face palmed as she turned and walked away. Steve fallowed behind.

"W-wait! Where are you going Clear?"

"I don't have time for this. AND IT'S CLAIRE!" She walked away, though Steve fallowed close behind. They walked a few blocks down before Claire turned to face him.

"Why are you fallowing me?"

"In case you need my help again. It's not safe for such a pretty girl to be walking around the streets alone, even if it's day time." Claire ran a head before turning around.

"MY BROTHERS A COP!" She turned back as she bolted down the street. She slowed down, panting as she made her way to the open streets.

"Claire! Wait! Don't go rejecting my love darling! The woman can't ignore Steve!" Claire sighed.

"Forget the bullets, I'll just get Chris to buy me some. Speaking of which, I think Jill's place is nearby. Maybe she'll have some I could borrow." She made her way to the building where she was buzzed in by Jill. She opened the door as the smell of burnt food and Chinese mixed together.

"Claire, nice to see you." Jill said as her and Chris sat on the couch.

"Smells horrible in here!" She made her way through the house, stopping near the kitchen.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Chris said as they both got back up.

"Oh! Shepherds pie!" She sat down at the table, grabbing a fork and digging into the bulge on the table. Chris covered his mouth as she started to eat.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Chris walked away as Jill grinned.

"Told you it was shepherds pie."

_Ronald Bedard_


	3. Focus Gizmo

**Resident Evil**

**FOCUS GIZMO**

… **Jill's Apartment …**

"Thank you all for coming! I'll start off by introducing myself. My name is Rebecca Chambers."

"Yes yes, we all know who you are. Can you move it along please?" Chris said as he held up his head with his hand. Barry, Jill, Claire, and Chris all sat around Rebecca as she stood in front of them.

"I'm trying to practice for when I win the noble prize! Now will you please!?" Rebecca shouted as she crossed her arms, frustrated.

"Oh come on Chris. Let the girl have her fifteen minutes of fame. What's your rush anyways?" Jill said calmly.

"The rush is that I left right from work to come here and relax. Not to be bored to tears by some high school presentation." Chris said as Claire sighed, trying to ignore her brother.

"And that is why I picked you guys for this. I will use my newest invention to make everyone more focused on a selected subject. I call it, the Focus Gizmo!" Claire busted out in laughter as she held on to her sides.

"Umm, really?" Barry asked.

"Well, it's only a temporary name."

"That's interesting and all Rebecca but I have one question. Why did we have to use my house for the meeting?" Jill asked.

"Oh that's simple. You were the only one I could trust to make the food and I was far to busy to do it myself. Plus it saves us all a trip from you having to bring it to me. Now lay out the food if you'd please." Jill rose and went to the kitchen before placing down a tray of sandwiches in front of everyone on the table. Her head immediately turned to Barry.

"Make one joke and it'll be your funeral." Her zipped his mouth.

"Now, everyone. Before you eat, I would like for you to keep your eyes on m- CLAIRE! PUT DOWN THE SANDWICHE!" Claire looked up as she dropped it back onto the tray, slowly moving backwards until her back touched the couch.

"Sorry." She muffled in a low voice.

"Now, as I was say-"

"Is that ham or chicken?" Chris asked.

"Interesting story actually. I went to the store to picked up ham but saw Carlos as I was looking at the meats. I didn't want the guy to notice me because you know how he can be, so I grabbed what I thought was the ham only to realize it was actually chicken when I got back home." Chris put his hands into fists.

"Carlos… I hate that guy." They all started to talk to each other, moving rapidly to different subjects. Rebecca huffed as she grabbed the gizmo and aimed it towards them.

"Everyone, pay attention to me!" She pulled the trigger as a loud buzzing sound echoed throughout the apartment. They all clutched onto their ears as the gun slowly came to a stop. The weapon slipped from Rebecca's hand as she panted.

"OH MY GOD!" Rebecca looked at Claire who was admiring her own hands.

"C-Claire?"

"I HAVE FINGERS!" Rebecca twitched as she turned to face Jill who was now pecking Chris on the head like a bird. Chris stood up, only to fall over on his own two feet which Barry furiously laughed at.

"Umm, I think there might be a slight problem with the focus gizmo."

… **Super Market …**

Leon pushed his cart slowly as he scanned the shelves. His head couldn't decide over whole canned peaches or canned peach chunks. He signed in agony as he closed his eyes, grabbing whichever can he held first.

"Peach chunks. Friday night is about to get crazy wild." He said in a sarcastic voice. He walked to the next isle and looked at the cereal. He grabbed a random box from the shelve as he threw it in the cart.

"Leon!" He jumped as his head whipped around, searching for where the voice came form. His heart was pumping in his chest, being caught so off guard and nearly wetting himself.

"Over here silly!" His head turned to where he had pulled the cereal box from. From the other side, peeping through the now empty space, was none other then Ashley Graham, the presidents daughter who had decided (AKA begged and begged for hours and hours without any sleep) to go to school in New York.

"Ashley?" She smiled as she started talking. Leon's head drifted away as he slowly felt more tired then ever. He grabbed the box of cereal from his cart and placed it back where it was, completely blocking out Ashley as he moved along down the aisle.

"Oh Leon! Your so funny!" She said as she zoomed around the corner.

"Uh-huh." He started to fill his cart more and more, not paying any interest to Ashley.

"I've been meaning to talk to you. You haven't returned any of my calls when I left you all those messages, then it seemed that you number had changed. I assumed that you misplaced my number so I thought I would stay here and wait for you to come!" He stopped to face her.

"You… waited at the super market for me to come? But how did you know I would come here?" She grinned.

"Oh silly! I know you well enough that you couldn't help but come to the cheapest store in all of New York to do your shopping. Oh! And I tried to visit you but I think you wrote down the wrong address." He pushed the cart faster as he kept facing forward.

"Well, it was nice catching up and all but I really have to go." She grabbed the front of the cart as it completely came to a stop.

"You don't seem to understand. I've waited at the mall for five whole days. I haven't bathed, I haven't slept, I haven't even gone to the bathroom because I was so worried. I have now made it my missions to never let you leave my side again. NEVER. Do I make my self clear?" She spoke in a demotic tone. A tone so evil that it made Leon wish he had never left his apartment.

"I… guess." She smiled as she clung onto his arm.

"Great! So, what are we having for lunch?"

… **Jill's Apartment …**

"Okay! Now that were all being good and keeping calm, I'm going to try to fix this thingy." Rebecca said to the others. They were all in handcuffs as they sat on the couch, Barry having a sheet wrapped around his mouth keeping him from laughing.

"It shouldn't take to lon- WHERE'S JILL!?" Rebecca said as she saw only Jill's handcuffs left on the couch where she should have been. She looked towards the kitchen as she saw Jill standing on the window ledge. She ran towards her, pulling her back.

"Jill, you are not a bird thus you can not fly!" Jill screamed as Rebecca let go of her, only to have Jill peck her on the head before running away.

"OH MY GOD! JILL IS A BIRD? I THOUGH SHE WAS A HUMAN! THAT EXPLAINS WHY THERE ARE WAFFLES IN MY SHOES!" Claire screamed. Barry laughed, though the sound was muzzled by the sheet. Rebecca face palmed as she grabbed Jill, this time with caution, and led her back to her spot.

"Let's try to take a different approach." Jill flapped her arms as she looked to Rebecca.

"Water! KAW! Water!" Jill announced, her head twitched back and forth.

"Alright then, water it is." She left for the kitchen, bringing back a glass full of water. She placed it in front of Jill. Jill started at the water, not moving as she mentally drifted away.

"Do you… need some help?" Rebecca asked as Jill's head swiftly turned towards her. She looked back down at the glass. Her face then grew into a humongous smile as her head bashed down on the glass, smashing it as the water splashed everywhere. Jill squealed more as she ran around the house.

"OH NO! I'M MELTING!" Claire said as she screamed in fake pain. Chris rose to help her, only to fall back down. Rebecca fell to the ground, about to burst into tears as she grabbed her phone.

… **Outside Super Market …**

Ashley spoke at an alarmingly fast rate as Leon tried his best to ignore her, thinking of how he could ditch her. His pocket vibrated as he reached in and saw Rebecca's number.

"It's from my work. Sorry, this will just be a second." He said as he ran form Ashley, getting some air as he picked up.

"Leon?" Rebecca stuttered.

"Rebecca. Thank you so much! I need yo-" he stopped as he heard a loud squeal sound as well as Claire screaming and laughter coming from Barry.

"Can- Still- Me?" Rebecca said as she tried to move away form all the noise.

"Where are you?" It took her three tries to tell him the place before getting disconnected.

"Leon! Who was that?" Ashley asked as he put the phone into his pocket.

"Great news. You get to come with me to visit my friends." Before she could say anything, he took the groceries and headed to Jill's.

Rebecca let him in immediately, making sure none of the others got out.

"What happened here?" Rebecca held back the tears as she explained.

"I created this thing that was suppose to keep there attention to one thing but something went wrong. Now Jill thinks she's a bird, Barry will laugh at everything, Chris can't take two steps without falling nor can he speak, and Claire is just plain stupid!" She said as she hugged him tightly. He looked around, not realizing the anger and jealousy Ashley was starting to grow from the hug. He shrugged out of it, walking over to Claire.

"Claire? It's me, Leon." His hand rested on her shoulder. Her head turned to his hand, then back to him. Her mouth slowly opened.

"RAPE!" She screamed over and over again as Leon fell back. Chris bolted for him before tripping, landing on the table as he rubbed his head. Barry's laughter echoed loudly as it seemed like the apartment shook.

"Claire no! Stop it!" She instantly stopped, a smile slowly growing across her face. Jill's face smashed into the back of Leon's head as she continued to peck at him. He ran over to the door, tripping over the bag of food as the can of peach chunks rolled to Jill's feet. She stopped as she slowly looked down at the container.

"I… I think she wants some." Rebecca said as she grabbed the can, running into the kitchen with it. Jill looked at Ashley intensely. Her first though was of how much Ashley's hair reminded her of hay. This thought then lead to her slowly moving closer to the frightened girl. Ashley turned to the fallen Leon as her lips parted and she inhaled a deep breath.

"LEON, HELP!" She said as Jill ran towards her. Rebecca stomped on the ground, getting her attention as she held out the plate of peaches. Jill ran towards them as her face reached down, swallowing a piece whole. She coughed as she swallowed it, falling to the ground. She rubbed her head in confusion as she looked around.

"What… happened?" Rebecca smiled as she looked at the can of peaches.

"Interesting. It seems as if there is some sort of chemical in the peaches that return the effect of the ray back to normal. I'll have to investigate further once I cure everyone." She rushed off, giving the next piece to Chris. Barry screamed with laughter as she tried to feed him one. Claire rose form her seat, her hands still in cuffs behind her.

'YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NEVER!" She ran for the door before stopping and looking at Ashley.

"Leon… help?" Ashley said in a very frightened tone as Claire looked down at the girl who reeked of horrible smells.

"I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR MEAL MA'AM! DESERT IS ON US TONIGHT!" She exclaimed as Rebecca grabbed onto her, feeding her the last of the peaches. Jill rose to face everyone.

"Okay, can someone tell me what ha- MY HEAD IS IN SO MUCH PAIN!" Both hands flew to her head as she fell back down. Chris rubbed his back as Barry panted from lack of air. Claire squirmed as she tried to get out of the cuffs.

"Wow. You make this seem much easier then it really is Jill." Claire said as she tried to escape.

After freeing them all and explaining the little mix up, they all sat in the apartment and enjoyed the sandwiches. They all dropped their food as they heard the loud screeching once again.

"Is everyone okay!?" Rebecca asked as the sound stopped. They all looked at each other before looking back to her with a nod. Leon walked up to them, handing the gun to Rebecca.

"We'll, this was fun and all, but I should get going now." He walked away as all eyes stared at him. He grabbed onto Ashley who was now sucking her thumb like a child and dragged her out the door.

"Well well, looks like my invention wasn't completely useless." Rebecca said with a grin as all eyes glared at her. She sighed, taking the weapon of annoyance and placing it back into her bag.

"Let's take you home and then you can leave me the hell alone." Leon said as Ashley laughed a childish laughter while clapping her hands together. A smile spread as he huffed out some air of relief.

"A crazy Friday night indeed."

_Ronald Bedard_


	4. Child Proof Part I

**Resident Evil**

**CHILD PROOF**

**(Part I)**

… **Claire's Apartment …**

"I can't believe I took up this job. I'm gonna kill Chris for suggesting babysitting. I hate kids. There all annoying, selfish, loud brats." Claire said as she huffed out of boredom.

"I'm right beside you." Claire glared at the child.

"Your point?"

"Your rude!" Sherry yelled as Claire turned away for the girl.

"Shut up and eat your cereal." The girl leaped off her seat.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Claire waved her hand at the girl, looking out the kitchen window.

"Knock yourself out." The girl ran off as Claire grabbed her comics. Two hours passed as she sat at the table, only now realizing that the child she was babysitting was no where near her. She grunted as she got up and went to the bathroom, knocking on the door.

"Hey brat, did you flush yourself down?" The door opened as she knocked one more. She walked inside, the room being completely empty.

"OH MY GOD! That stupid brat wrote on my mirror!" She stared at the foul language that was writing on the glass in Claire's lipstick. She ran from the bathroom as she saw the front door open.

"Does she not know how to close doors?" She grabbed her leather vest, gloves, and helmet as she hopped on her motorcycle and zoomed down the street. Her eyes scanned everyone she passed as she searched for the short, blond haired girl. She stopped as she seen a familiar face.

"Well, well. If it isn't my little butter cup." Claire took off her helmet as she held back from bashing the boy in the head with it.

"Steve, for the last time, I'm not your little butter cup nor am I your's. Now look, the only reason I'm talking to you is because I'm looking for this little girl. She's wearing a dorky school uniform with blond hair and an annoying voice. Have you seen her?" Steve smiled happily at her.

"I might have seen the girl but I'm not too sure. A kiss, however, might help me remember." Claire face palmed.

"Steve, I don't have time for this."

"All I want is a little peck on the cheek." Claire sighed as she got off her bike and walked up to Steve. She through one hand over his head as she leaned in close, her lips to his ear. She could feel his heart racing fast.

"If you don't tell me where she is right now, you'll never see the light of day again." She said in a seductive voice as Steve shook her off.

"That's no fair! You shouldn't tease a guy like that!" His face was red with blush as Claire placed her helmet back on and took off. Steve sighed as he walked away.

… **On The Road …**

Jill's head rested on the back of her seat in a deep sleep as Chris drove through the fog. He stopped the car as Jill's head rose.

"Were here!" Jill rubbed her eyes, looking at the depressing sight.

"Where exactly are we?" Chris took out the brochure he was giving a month ago from the glove department.

"Silent Hill, our vacation resort. Although, it looks much different then in these pictures." Jill grabbed the brochure as she skimmed it, looking back at Chris with a displeased face.

"Chris, this is a brochure of Spring Hills. You wrote down the wrong directions." Chris' face turned to disappointment as he grabbed it back from here.

"I'm sorry, I was sure I had the right place marked. Let's just turn back and go another time." Jill yawned as she stretched her arms.

"It's too late at night to be driving in this fog. Let's just head in, get some sleep at some motel, then find a map in the morning." Chris agreed as he drove through. They stopped at a locked gate as they both got out.

"Still thinking of heading in?" Jill took out a bobby pin from her hair and twisted it as she walked up to the lock.

"We'll go in and explain everything tomorrow. I'm sure they won't mind as long as we keep our stories straight." The lock opened as she ran back to the car. Chris got in as they drove through, the lock clicked itself closed on it's own as they were in. They drove until they saw a motel, parking the car and getting out.

"I'll go get us a room, you stay here." Jill nodded as Chris went in. She waited twenty minutes before he came back with a room key.

"What the hell took you so long?" Chris lead Jill to their room.

"I rang the bell about fifty times and no one came. So I grabbed a key and left the money on the counter." He went in first as they made themselves at home. Jill hopped in the shower as Chris searched through the channels of static on the television.

"What's up?" Jill asked as she walked out of the bathroom.

"I can't seem to get any channels." Jill shrugged it off as she hopped into bed. Chris joined her as they fell asleep quickly.

… **Tattoo Parlour …**

"About this high and has blond hair?" The largely built man shook his head as she sighed.

"So far I've check the gun shop, the comic shop, and the fish merchant by the beach which has the most amazing ice cream stand if you ever plan on going." The man smiled as she walked out, waving with a smile.

Steve walked down the street, his hands in his pockets as he kicked any rock he could find. He stopped as he saw a girl much like Claire had described.

"There she is! She must be the girl my Claire was searching for. If I bright her back then I'll score major points with my baby!" Claire came to a stop as she answered her vibrating phone.

"Hello?"

"Clear! My darling!" Claire looked at her phone, the number known.

"Steve? Is that you?"

"I'm so glad you answered!"

"Wait, how did you get my number!?" She asked as Steve stuttered for a moment.

"We can talk about my stalking issues later. I found the girl your looking for! Come meet me on Anderson Street, and hurry!" Before Claire could answer, Steve hung up and walked towards the girl. Not ten minutes later, Claire arrived a she rushed off her motorcycle.

"Steve!" He turned with a smile.

"Here she is!" He turned the girl towards Claire. She twitched as Ashley looked at her in awe.

"Steve… you IDIOT!" She smacked him as hard as possibly on the back of his head as he barked in pain.

"Ouch! What was that for? I found the girl." Claire took a deep breath as Ashley clapped her hands together, making baby noises.

"It looks like you haven't changed a bit." Claire turned away as she got back on her bike and drove away, leaving Steve with the childish girl.

… **Silent Hill …**

Chris and Jill leaped out of bed as a sharp alarm woke them from their dead sleep.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Jill covered her ears.

"I think it's an evacuation alarm. We better go check it out." Jill agreed as they put on their clothes. They walked out as Jill went into the car, pulling out handguns for both of them. She tried to start the car with no success.

"Damn, it's broken." She said as she popped the lid. Nothing seemed wrong as she inspected the car. Chris turned as he heard a low grown. His gun point toward the noise.

"Come out, now!" The fog was still thick as the creature drew closer. The dog walked forward as Chris sighed. He took a closer look before raising his gun and firing two shots at the animal.

"Chris! What happened?" Jill asked as she moved form the front of the car.

"Come look at this." She came close as she stared at the dog.

"But… It has no skin. How is that possible?" Chris shrugged as he stood up.

"What's the report on the car?" She opened the door, hopping into the front seat.

"There's nothing wrong with it, it's full of gas, it just doesn't want to start." She tried a few more times before giving up. They slowly and cautiously walked into the streets, going up the path they came from. Jill gasped as Chris soon knew way.

"This is the direction we came from, right?" Jill nodded.

"Then why… is there no road?" They both looked down at the broken street. It seemed to fall forever. They stood close together as they walked down then fog covered road and into a vast growing nightmare.

_Ronald Bedard_


	5. Child Proof Part II

**Resident Evil**

**CHILD PROOF**

**(Part II)**

… **Police Department …**

"Claire Redfield, I knew I'd see you here one day. So, what are you in for?" Leon said as he walked into his office with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Oh ha-ha, very funny. I need your help. You see, I was babysitting this girl."

"And you lost her, right?" He finished her sentence as she glared at him.

"I didn't lose her, she ran off on me." He sat down, looking at the stack of papers on his desk.

"I can't file a missing person report unless she's been gone for twenty-four hours." Claire sighed as she unzipped her jacket and sat on his desk. Her leg stretched out as she gave up the puppy dog eyes.

"Please Leon… I need your help. It would mean SO much to me if you could do this tiny favour." Leon glared at her.

"Get off my desk, I just cleaned it." She grunted as she sat back down.

"Fine then. If begging doesn't work then I guess I'll have to resort to blackmail. If you don't help me, I'll tell Ada all about your profile on that dating website." He spat out his coffee as he chocked.

"How…" He took a deep breath in, covering his mouth as he let out a cough.

"Now, let me ask you again. Could you help me find this girl?"

"Give me her name and description." Claire giggled as she told him everything he needed. She rushed out of the station, getting on her motorcycle and driving off to search some more.

… **Silent Hill Streets …**

"Chris, I can't see the motel. I think were lost." Jill announced in a low voice as they walked towards a building. The lights were on inside as they approached the front door. Chris tried to opened it, only to find it locked.

"Think you can handle it?" Jill sighed as she stepped to the door and picked the lock.

"We're suppose to be cops, not criminals." Chris watched the streets as she played with the lock.

"Like you said before, we'll explain everything later." She opened the door as they both rushed in. No one was in sight as they walked down the hall. Chris looked at the fly covered walls before stopping.

"What is it?" Jill asked as she stopped as well.

"The walls are… bleeding." They admired the bizarre event before moving on. The went through many doors, only to come out of the back entrance. The door to the outside was locked as they sighed.

"Alright, let's scout around." Jill said as she put her gun into the halter. They looked around as they tried to find anything that could be of use.

"Hey Jill, don't you have your cell on you?" Jill reached into her pocket, pulling out the small black phone that she constantly forgot she had. She flipped it open before a loud bang came form above them. She looked down at the phone that she had dropped and picked it up, only to find the screen cracked.

"Shit, it's broken." Chris sighed as he walked up to her.

"I'm sure we wouldn't have gotten any service anyways." Jill sighed as she put it back into her pocket.

"We should investigate that sound, it could be someone in danger." Chris held her tight as she tried to move.

"Or it could be another monster thing. I think we should stay here."

"And wait for it to get us?" Jill said as she shrugged his hand off and walked to the door. She slowly opened it, checking to make sure it was clear before giving the signal. They walked out and up the stairs to the next floor. There was no doors beside the one at the end of the hallway. Jill lead Chris down the hall as he stayed close as possible to her.

"Can we turn back and try to find the motel again now?" Jill ignored him as she picked the locked door, opening it slowly.

"It looks like a dead corps." She walked up to investigate the body.

"What is it?" Chris screamed like a little girl as he heard a loud bang. Jill turned to face him and sighed.

"It was just the door slamming shut from the fans over here. And this body looks like it suffered major burns. Poor guy." She stood up as they looked around. She found a small passageway as she waved Chris over.

"Come on, unless you want to guard this room ALL alone." Chris turned and ran towards her, fallowing the girl. They arrived into another room. She opened the door as they walked down the hall.

"Jill, the walls are bleeding again." She sighed.

"Just don't look at them." She said as she kept walking. Chris took his gun out and aimed it at the wall. He pulled the trigger as a bullet pierced the wall. Blood started to pour out of the bullet hole as Chris smiled in amusement.

"Hey Jill, check this out!" She said with a smile as he shot the wall five more times as blood came from the holes. She grabbed the gun from him.

"Damn it Chris, this is no time to be fooling around." Chris looked at her, giving her the famous Redfield puppy dog eyes as she sighed.

"Alright, but try to keep it quiet." She gave him back the gun as he smiled. She walked down the hall before stopping.

"What is it!?" Chris said in a complete panic.

"Shhh." She said as she took another step forward. A loud cracking sound echoed through the hall.

"So there's a loose board. Let keep going." Chris walked ahead of her. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him to the ground as the floor in front of him broke into pieces, falling into a room filled with spikes.

"Shit, it broke." She said as she looked for a way across. Chris stayed on the ground as his hand reached his heart, making sure it was still beating.

"Well, I don't have to use the bathroom anymore." Jill twitched a she tried to ignore his comment.

"It looks like you'll have to throw me across. I'll find something so that you can walk across on. Okay?" Chris gave her the puppy dog eyes once more.

"But… You can't leave me here all alone!" She smiled at him.

"I'll be back in a second, okay?" He nodded as he helped her get across. He watched as she ran off. He sighed, looking back at the walls as they started to peel.

"Well damn, that must make repainting rooms easy."

… **Central Park …**

Claire ran through the park, looking all around for Sherry. She stopped and sighed as Steve approached her.

"I found her! She's in the clothing store across the street!" Before Claire could say anything, he grabbed onto her arm and pulled her away. They stood in front of the store as Steve came out.

"Here she is!" He pulled Alexia forward as Claire face palmed.

"Steve, she is NOT a little girl." Alexia's arm pulled back as Steve let go.

"How DARE you touch me with you… filthy commoner hands!"

"Oh. One second." He ran back into the store as Claire sighed and looked at Alexia.

"So, how's life?" Alexia crossed her arms.

"Amazingly wonderful when your father is famous and rich beyond imaginable." Claire glared at her.

"I've already lost interest in this conversation." Alexia grinned.

"What's wrong? Little poor girl having a bad day? Too bad your not as famous and gorgeous as me!" Claire reached into her pocket and handed Alexia five black jellybeans that were squished and merged together from the heat.

"What's this?" Alexia asked as she held the candy.

"That's the bird brain I removed earlier today. I was saving it for my lunch but I've just lost my appetite." Alexia shrieked as she dropped it on the ground, almost in tears as she ran off.

"Here she is!" Steve came out as Claire twitched.

"Steve… as much as he would like to be, Alfred is NOT a woman." Steve's smile faded as he let go of him.

"Have you seen my beloved sister!?" Claire pointed in the direction that she ran off as Alfred yelled for her. Claire saw the sadness in Steve's eyes. She sighed.

"Alright, let's look for her together." Steve's smile came back as he fallowed behind her.

… **Silent Hill Building …**

Jill rushed down the stairs and into a room with a giant fan above her. She turned quickly as the door behind her closed.

"Freeze! Official Police!" She held her gun pointed at the door before she swiftly turned. She stared at the monster in front of her. His head was protected by a giant pyramid as he held a giant knife. He slowly crept closer before she dropped the gun. He stopped as she nearly broke out in tears. He looked down as a loud clank hit the ground. She picked up the M66 Rocket Launcher that had dropped onto the ground.

"it's a good thing I take this with me everywhere I go." She fired it as the monster exploded. She sighed as she forced the gun back into her inventory.

Chris looked worried as Jill returned with a giant block of wood. He slowly crossed with her help.

"I thought I heard an explosion. Is everything okay?" Jill nodded as she grabbed his hand.

"Now lets get out of this messed up town." They walked down the stairs before being stopped by a short haired man.

"I'm looking for my brother." Jill pushed him aside as they walked out. Chris turned around for a moment before fallowing her. They found their way to the car as Jill got in. Chris fallowed her.

"I thought the car didn't work." Jill tried to start it before walking out and closing her door. All Chris could hear from his closed window was Jill screaming at the car for five minutes before getting back in. She turned the key as the car started and she began to drive away.

"Put your seat belt on." She said as she drove to the exit. She stopped at the broken street, rolling down her window. Her head poked out of it as she intensely glared at the road. A strong group of fog appeared before vanishing again, the road fixed as she drove away. Chris sat in silence as they drove away. Jill's hand flew out of the window as they passed the Silent Hill sighed. She flipped it off before closing her window and driving them back home.

… **Claire' Apartment …**

The doorbell rang as Claire put down her book and answered.

"I'm here to pick Sherry up. I hope she wasn't too much trouble." Claire smiled politely.

"Nah, we had fun. Sherry, your mom's here!" Annette looked in awe as her jaw dropped.

"Are… you sure that's Sherry?" In front of them stood Ashley wearing a uniform that looked identical to Sherry's.

"Of course! Don't you recognize your own daughter? She just grew a few inches since you dropped her off. She's a healthy child you know." Annette shrugged as she paid Claire and left.

"Bye-bye Sherry. Come back again soon!" Claire said as she slammed the door, turning the music on as she giggled and returned to her comics in peace.

_Ronald Bedard_


	6. Somewhat Or Another Part I

It all happened so fast, it was hard to tell what was going on. Claire ran down the aisle of the grocery store, ignoring her brothers warning. Her eyes opened wide as she slipped on the floor marked with a wet floor sign. She grabbed for the shelve, though the unsteady piece of wood collapsed, landing beside the passed out Claire on the ground.

**Resident Evil**

**Somewhat Or Another (Part I)**

**… In A Bed …**

Her eyes slowly opened, revelling a king sized bed with a red canopy. She looked out of the wide window leading to a small balcony. It took her a few seconds to let the bed, balcony, large room, and wide screen television staring at her to sink it.

"What the hell is going on?"

She turned her head as the bedroom door swung opened. A sliver suit of armour glared at her. She pulled the bed sheets over her, covering her top half. The helmet came off as the man looked at her.

"My dear, your awake! Would you like me to bring you your breakfast?" The man asked as Claire glared at him.

"STEVE! What the HELL are you doing here! GET OUT!" He let out a giggle. His voice was different. It was less horsed, as if he had finally hit puberty.

"MY darling, don't be upset. I'll let you wake up first then." And with a smile, he exited the room, closing the double door behind him. Claire looked at the door, then at the television, then back at the door, then at the balcony, then once more to the door before yelling out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

**… Somewhere Else …**

Jill sat awkwardly, crouching down on an open create. She had a bored expression on her face with her pants down to her ankles. She took in a deep breath as a metal bang hit the bottom of the crate. A few more bangs emerged before what sounded like a river of metal pored into the crate. She pulled her pants up and looked down into the create. The create was filled to the brim with bullets. The door to the wear house opened slowly as the man walked in.

"How comes the ammo gathering?" Jill turned to look at Chris. On his shoulders sat leather pads, each covered in silver spikes. A few straps held them on, though there wasn't much more to his outfit. The rest contained straps and leather, as well as a pelvic plate covered in more spikes on the sides.

"It would be at lot easier if I didn't have to crap it all out. And why in God's name are you still wearing that?" He looked down at himself, his sunglasses making him practically blind in the dim lit room.

"Don't try to pretend your not attracted to THIS!" He struck a pose as Jill turned her head.

"You have me confused for a magnate." She rubbed her hand against her stomach.

"Another round? Let me go get the chilli first. Were getting low on explosive rounds." Before she could protest about the burning sensation they left behind, he was out and into the house next door.

**… Dark Ominous Castle In The Distance …**

Laughs echoed though out the castle, leaving a chill down everyone's spines. The woman sat sideways on the thrown, her legs high in the air. She was interrupted buy a blond male.

"Dear sister, my beloved. You requested my presence?" The man said, bending down for the woman.

"Alfred, I have a mission for you. I need you to gather up the troops and get the ready for war. I plan on taking on the White Kingdom tonight." His head shot straight up.

"B-bu-but, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, he defeated three of our troops single headedly just this morning." She smiled as another laugh escaped her lips.

"There is one thing that he cannot resist. One thing that will change the tides of war to our side." She laughed as she threw a pictures aside. A woman in a cloak caught it as she passed by, heading for the back exit. When she reached her destination, in the middle of the forest, she threw off her cloak and picked up her phone.

"Whiskers, this is Asian Red. Come in Whiskers." The voice on the other side sighed.

"You do know your on a cell phone, correct? There is no need to speak as if you were on a radio."

"I'm not quite sure what your talking about, over." He face palmed, ignoring his last message.

"What is it Red?" She looked at the picture she held tightly.

"They plan on attacking tonight. There assembling their troops as we speak. They also figured out the kings weakness." She looked intensly at the picture.

"And that is?" He asked, anxious.

"What is?"

"His weakness?" "Can't you see?" He grunted.

"NO! This is a cell phone, not a camera. Tell me what his weakness is!" She looked once more at the picture.

"it's a girl. Red hair and tomboyish looks." He seemed intrigued by this.

"Is she cute?" "Well, she's no Asian. She also has no breasts which makes me wonder if he really is a girl."

"What ever the case, I shall begin the preparations.""Over and out Whiskers. Asian Red signing off." A large sigh escaped his lips.

"Why did ever let her come up with the names."

… White Kingdoms Dinning Room …

Claire hesitantly sat down at the table. She sat across from Steve who was watching her every move. She paid more attention to his this time, seeing some sever differences. For once, he was taller and more clean looking then before. He worse a black t-shirt with a blue jean vest over it, letting his now muscular arms show. His hair was darker and he also had a small patch of hair on his chin.

"The usual madam?" The butler asked as she nodded. She smelt her drink, making sure it wasn't poisoned. This made Steve laugh.

"Your so delightfully entertaining." Her eyes bolted towards him.

"Those are… big words for you." The butler returned with a sliver platter. He lifted the lid as Claire awed.

"The usual. A cheese burger with a large fry, no lettuce. After all, lettuce is the devils salad." He laughed as he walked away.

"If I'm dreaming, no one better wake me the hell up." Steve laughed as he watched her eat, enjoying her company.

**… In The Forest …**

"I am looking FABULOUS!" Leon squealed as he admired himself in the mirror.

"You are such a freak!" The boy said as he walked by. He wore a white apron with a medics cross on it. He had a green shirt and cargo pants and looked no older then sixteen.

"Your just jealous that you don't have such GORGEOUS hair like mine Rebecco." He sighed as he walked to the sink, washing off his hands.

"I need… some help!" The dark skinned woman entered the small house, sitting on the bed as Rebecco grabbed his FAID Spray from the cabinet. The woman wore thin purple cloths around her chest and greenish rags around her waist, barley reaching down her thighs.

"Sheva, what happened dear? Did you end up in the poor house?" Leon asked as she turned her head to him.

"No… why?" He took a double take at her outfit, then decided to change the subject.

"What happened darling?" She looked down at her clearly broken leg covered in blood and sweat.

"Just a sliver… _Asshole_." She said the last part under her breath as Rebecco shook the spray. He pressed down on the trigger as the puff of air healed the leg completely.

"There we go. As good as new." Sheva rose to her feet as she walked around a bit.

"Thank you." Rebecco sighed, looking back into the cabinet which was filled with empty FAID Sprays.

"The economy isn't what it use to be. Due to the war between the two kingdoms, we hardly have enough money to pay rent, let alone order more sprays." Leon screamed like a ten hear old girl getting stepped on the toe.

"ARE YOU OKAY!" Sheva yelled as he came into the room in tears.

"I'm out of hairspray! This stuff will only hold for twenty-four hours. After that, I'm doomed!" They all looked down, sighing as they tried to think of a way to get more money.

**… Back To Somewhere Else …**

Smoke emerged as the fire spread from tree to tree. Chris rubbed himself against the trees, putting out the flame with his bare oily chest, as well as leaving deep marks from his erected nipples. Jill face palmed as she grabbed the fire extinguisher and let it loose on the trees. Once the fire was out, they both collapsed.

"So explain to me again how this happened." Chris said as he whipped off his shades on a nearby leaf.

"I felt an after effect of the chilli. I bent down to pick up my keys which I dropped and… boom!" He whipped off his head, the oil overpowering the sweat.

**… Dark Castle …**

Alexia walked into the tallest tower in the darkest kingdom until she reached a door with an Open sign on it. She let herself in.

"Welcome stranger. What will it be?" She held out a sheet of paper.

"I need a demonic possession. It only has to be for a few seconds, enough to get the girl to leave." She dropped a bag full of gold onto his table. He looked through it before turning back to her.

"Not enough money stranger." She glared at him, three, green, thick tentacles arising.

"What I meant to say was, I'll do it stranger." She withdrew, smiling as she walked out, laughing. A shadow emerged from outside the door. She watched Alexia leave before reporting.

Whiskers, do you read me? The Dragonfly has left the Merchants."

"Very well, you know what to do." She nodded, walking into the room.

"Welcome stranger. What will it be?" She let her robe fall, revealing a red laced braw and thong.

"I need some information."

**… Forest Time Again …**

Rebecco, Leon, and Sheva all walked through the forest. They came to a stop as they heard a monstrous sound. They stepped back as a fat bare jumped out of the forest. He roared loudly.

"Ew! His breath smells like sandwiches!" Leon screamed as he hid behind Rebecco.

"BRING IT ON!" Sheva yelled as she ripped open her shirt, grabbed a knife, and held it in her mouth as she lunged herself at the beast. The bear threw her off, smashing into a tree as he panted for his life.

"Hey, he seems pretty tamed." Rebeeco announced as Sheva drew blood markings on her cheeks. She screamed out as she lunged at the bear once more. She didn't stop until a shoe smashed into the back of her head.

"Enough." Rebecco said as he grabbed his shoe, walking up to the bear.

"Hey there. Were not going to hurt you." The bear looked at Rebeeco, walking closer. He opened his mouth wide as he munched on a berry bush.

"Kill it, kill it, kill it!" Leon whined.

"You sure do like berry's, don't you? I know! I'm going to call you Berry!" The bear rubbed his head against Rebeeco.

"Were not honestly going to keep that FILTHY creature, are we?" Berry looked over a Leon, giving him a death glare.

"Of course we are! Maybe he can find us a way to get some money." The bear walked away, wanting them to fallow him.

**… White Kingdoms Garden …**

Claire sat on the wooden bench next to the step stone waterfall. Steve took the seat beside her, throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked with curiosity in his voice.

"I was thinking of how pretty this place is." She sighed as if expecting to awaken from this dream sometime soon. Steve felt his lips clamp up. His arm slowly lowered. He tried to stop it, though it was no use. Claire jumped as he grabbed onto her derriere.

"What the HELL do you think your doing!" She held her butt, looking at him in the eyes. He tried to stop the words, though they controlled themselves.

"Come on you little hussy, no need to be shy." He stood to his feet as she fell to the ground. She looked up at him, seeing something that wasn't there before. It was as if he had changed before her eyes. He took the form of a monster. His green skin and yellow eyes burned deep into her. She rose to her feet as Steve grabbed her arm, back in control of himself.

"Claire, wait!" She shrugged him off as she booted it out of the garden. He tried to chase her, though it was useless.

"What's wrong? Did the big old monster finally turn on you?" Alexia laughed as she sat onto of the wall. Two green tentacles lowered her towards Claire. Her hand reached towards her slowly before twitching away as a bullet just skimmed her glove. Her head spun around to find Wesker standing in his long, black, leather trench coat. He threw it to the side.

"Did you think I would let you have her all to yourself?" Her lips tucked into a smile as she laughed furiously.

"You are not worthy of her presence!" Her laugh grew louder as she emerged into flames, changing into a green skinned, plant like, being. Her finger nails reached out as Wesker dodged her attacks. Claire fell back in awe as she watched the epic fight. Wesker got one good punch in before Alexia called forth her flames, circling around her and Claire. The flames slowly settled as the two vanished without a trace.

"Damn. It looks like I underestimated her power." He took off just as Steve approached. He looked down at the burnt grass, picking up the red ruby attached to a purple choker. Where ever Claire was, it was certain she was in danger.


	7. Somewhat Or Another Part II

**Resident Evil**

**Somewhat Or Another (Part II)**

… **Outside The Dark Castle …**

"I'd like a double, double cheese burger with an extra large chilli fry. Two mini snack wraps, five helpings of pasta and a large coke. No! Diet coke."

"Ada, for the last time, I am not a food delivery services." Wesker grinned his teeth together.

"Sorry, must have the wrong number. How goes on the 'capture the girl' plane?"

"It was a failure. It's now your duty to-" He was cut off by laughter.

"You said duty." He growled.

"AS I WAS SAYING. It is now your… responsibility to capture her for me."

"Rodger.""Who's Rodger?"

"I mean okay." "Alright then."

"Asian Red, Singing off." Wesker turned his spinning chair as he rose from his seat.

"I think it's time to release Professor G." He laughed before exploding into a coughing fit. He turning around, choking up a hair ball.

… **Forest …**

Rebeeco bent over, looking out into the distance.

"It's the kingdoms entrance. There seems to be some kind of hysteria going on." Leon picked the small leaves and branches out of his hair.

"This place is horrible!" He squealed as Sheva walked by him.

"It's not that bad." She said as she whipped blood off her face. Leon looked confused.

"What is…" He looked behind him, seeing a corps of a lion behind him, completely torn apart. He looked back at Sheva who was now eating the lions heart.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" He bent behind a tree.

"Guys, keep it down!" Rebeeco said as he and Berry the bear watched all the guards leaving the castle.

… **Where The Hell Are We! …**

Claire's eyes slowly opened, finding herself in a locked room.

"Mahahahahahaha!" Alfred squealed from the other side. Claire walked up to the bared door.

"Where the hell am I?" She asked.

"It seems you have awakened Claire Redfield." She sighed, reached both her hands from between the bars and chocking Alfred.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I!" She asked again, now releasing her grip.

"Unacceptable!" He spoke as he regained his breath.

"Dear brother, allow me to take care of this." Alexia opened the door, grabbing Claire with her tentacle. She carried her to the roof of the castle where she placed her down.

"Okay, the tentacle, not necessary." Claire said as she whipped herself off.

"That's as far as you go." Alexia turned to see Ada sitting behind them.

"I don't remember giving you an invite." She threw a tentacle at her. Ada back flipped, dodging it though forgetting she was already at the edge of the roof. Her scream echoed as she fell off the roof.

"Now then, where were we." She looked up as a loud _caw_ echoed through the air. A cloaked person in a birds mask swooped down, grabbing Claire and flying away. Alexia commanded her tentacles to reach out, though they were instantly shot down by a explosive round shot off down below. The smoked cloaked the stranger and Claire as they flew off.

… **Forest …**

Rebeeco, Sheva, Leon, and Berry walked through the forest, quite as a bird. They looked up through the trees to find a black object carrying a girl. There attention didn't last very long as the ground began to shake. The quake lasted a minute before moving along.

"What… was that?" Rebeeco said, looking around to make sure no one was injured. Leon was shivering on the ground, Berry was up in a tree, and Sheva was still finishing off her lion snack.

"You have a right to fear it." They all screamed simultaneously as they looked around them, not know who had said that.

"I'm right here." Leon, still shivering, looking around him, seeing nothing but trees.

"God!" A branch hit him in the back of the head as he fell over, now covered in mud. He rose, tears in his eyes.

"I'm all dirty!" Rebeeco face palmed as he looked up.

"I think… it's the trees." Sheva opened her mouth in awe as Berry fell behind her, the branch throwing him off.

"Your correct." Sheva stepped forward."Oh great nature that surrounds us. Whatith shall we callith thee?" There was a long silence as the wind whistled through the trees.

"Um… okay. My name is Forest." Rebeeco sighed.

"So… Forest, what was that shaking?"

"That was the monster known as G." A squeaky and annoying voice came from the trees.

"I-I-I think we should j-j-just leave them a-alone." A chirping fallowed behind her. A blond chipmunk and chicken came down from the trees.

"Aw, there so cute." Rebeeco said as he bent over to pet them.

"My names Sherry and this is Bra-""NO BODY CARES YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Sheva screamed in a manly tone with blood spread across her face. Sherry and Brad screamed as they ran as fast as they could. Rebeeco smacked her on the head as she chased after them, the tree also smacking her.

… **Somewhere Far Away …**

Claire threw a chair as Chris stood there, the chair smashing to pieces the second it touched his body.

"Now Claire, calm down!" Jill tried to calm her.

"No! And HOW do you know my name!" She said, picking up the lamp and throwing it at Chris. Jill watched as it smashed to pieces as it touched Chris.

"Everyone know you. Why, you're princess Claire of course. Betrothed to Steven Burnside." Jill announced.

"Betrothed! Hell no, no way! Why, I'd rather- STEVEN! His name is really STEVEN!" She through the pillow at Chris as its feathers flew everyone on contact.

"What has gotten into you? No one has ever seen you like this before." Claire panted.

"Do you want a hug?" Chris said as Claire stepped back.

"No way in hell are you touching me with your oily body." A loud meowing echoed as she threw the cat at him. Jill jumped back as it exploded once it touched him.

"Alright, now that your staring to run out of furniture, can we talk?" Claire fell to the ground, covering her eyes.

"Claire, I have something you should know." She looked up at him after whipping her eyes dry.

"Yeah?" He took off his shades, looking down at her.

"I AM YOUR BROTHER." Claire screamed as she fell on her stomach, crying as loud as she could. Jill smacked him on the head as she walked towards Claire, waving her hand as she tried to regain its feeling.

"Will… a cheese burger help?" Claire's head shot up.

"Can I… have double cheese? With… no lettuce?" Jill nodded as she walked into the kitchen. Chris looked at Claire as Claire looked back.

"Don't you dare come any closer… freak."

… **White Kingdom …**

The guards stood in front of the gates as Rebeeco and the others approached then. "State your business." The guards announced as Rebeeco looked at the others who were feet away. He sighed.

"Where here to warn the king of an evil danger that is lurking nearby." They looked to each other, then looked back at Rebeeco who was now giving them his famous puppy dog eyes.

"Aright then, in you go." Rebeeco and Leon walked in before their staffs lowered.

"Sorry, no wild life aloud." Sheva turned to Berry.

"That's discriminating! Bears have rights too ya' know." They looked to each other then back to her.

"The bear can enter. It's you who has to wait here." Her jaw dropped as Berry headed in.

"Now why the hell can't I go and the bear can!" "This IS the WHITE kingdom, if you catch out drift." Rebeeco and the others entered the castle, hearing the screams of Sheva from the gates.

"I wounder where we can find the king at this time." "I'll go search!" The chipmunk Sherry said as she crawled into the vents of the castle, her little paws scurrying as she zoomed past all the rooms. She returned not a minute later.

"And?" Rebeeco asked as he caught her in his arms.

"Down the hall, take a left. Up three sets of stairs and down the hall. It's the eighth door on your left once you get there. He's in the changing room preparing himself." They nodded as they ran down the hall and fallowed the direction.

When they arrived, they busted through the door.

"King Ste-" Rebeeco ducked as a dagger flew right at his head. With a sigh, he looked behind him, seeing Leon's shirt pinned to the wall.

"I… think I wet myself a little." Leon announced as they looked away.

"King Steven!" He sighed as he continued to put on the armor.

"Please, Steve will suffice ." He nodded.

"King Steve, we've come to tell you of a great monster heading your way!" He sighed as he watched the shaking forest.

"So, he finally released G, has he? That means Alexia will be next. I wonder how long it will take her to release Nosferatu?" Rebeeco and the others looked confused. Steve sighed as he leaned against the window, grabbing onto his chest. Rebeeco walked up to him.

"Sir, are you okay?" He turned to them after regaining composure.

"I'll explain it all. Meet me down at the dinning room." They nodded and without any questions, left him in peace. He looked out the widow. Out into the deep forest.

"Claire… Stay safe."


	8. Somewhat Or Another Part III

**Resident Evil**

**Somewhat Or Another (Part III)**

… **White Kingdoms Dinning Room …**

"Alexia, queen of the Dark Kingdom, came across a virus which she found and studied and soon infected herself with. She ran many experiments on all types of animals and soon enough got bored and brought the virus into the blood stream of humans."

Leon, Sherry the squirrel, and Brad the chicken all filled their mouths with as much food as they could stuff in as Rebecco and Steve talked.

"That's interesting and all but how does Nosferatu fit into this?" Rebeeco asked, giving the others the evil eye.

"I had a dream one night. I was seventeen and I had opened my eyes in a room with machines and such around me. I was tied down and though I couldn't see anything; all I could hear around me was laughter. I found out later that it wasn't a dream. Alexia had kidnapped me, brought me to her kingdom, and placed the Veronica Virus into me. She had also tried this on her father though he was turned into a hideous creature that she had locked away."

"Then how are you still alive if that's all true?" Rebecco leaned in.

"I was somehow able to hold back the virus which kept me in this form… Her father became the creature known as Nosferatu." He nodded as he thought this through. Without hesitation, he stood up from his chair.

"Lets go." Steve looked up at him, curious as to what he was planning.

"Awe, but there's food here!" Leon whined.

"What are you planning?" Steve couldn't help but ask.

"You're majesty, if we get Princess Claire back from Alexia, will you help end the depression placed on the citizens in your kingdoms forest?" He nodded.

"Of course. With Claire in my possession, there will be no need for war."

"Why do they want Claire anyways?" Leon asked as he whipped his lips off with a pink laced handkerchief.

"Alexia found that the Veronica Virus was only perfected when it was inserted into a women. She had another test subject, Manvanilla or something like that. She didn't last long though and was killed by it. Though she found that Claire's body was the perfect host for the virus." Rebecco grabbed Leon as he pulled him through the door. Sherry and Brad fallowed behind. They found Berry and Sheva waiting outside by the trees.

"Lets go." Rebecco said as they caught up.

… **Alexia's Castle …**

Alexia sat upon her thrown as she looked down at her underlines. Pure rage in her eyes. Alfred approached her.

"My dear sister, allow me to give my greatest sorry for what had happened. I promise you that we will get Claire back." Her tentacle reached down as it wrapped around Alfred, lifting him up to her.

"You will get her back for me. And do not fail me dear brother or I shall be an only child." Another tentacle held a rifle as he grabbed it.

"I will not fail you dearest sister." She smiled as she placed him down.

… **In A Cabin In The Woods, A Little Claire By The Window Stood …**

Claire looked out as the tress moved with the motion of the wind. Chris and Jill loaded their weapons as they prepared for battle. Claire turned as she stood up.

"Why can't I go where I want to? I hate it here! It's not where I want to be and it smells like gun powder and farts!" Jill blushed as she turned her head and coughed.

"We'll be leaving shortly. Prepare for-" The window smashed as a bullet landed in the wall ahead of them.

"Mah, mahahaha!" The laughter came from outside as they all rushed out. Alfred sat in a high tree as he shot once more. The bullet landed on the door behind Chris. Two more shots landed in the ground and wall before he stopped.

"I should have brought more bullets…" Alfred said to himself. Two hunters appeared as they walked towards Chris and Jill. Claire seen the opportunity and ran through the forest. Jill turned as she saw the girl running.

"Claire wait! The forest is too dangerous on your own!" Chris stopped Jill as she prepared to run after her.

"She'll be fine. We have to take care of these oversized frogs first anyways." She nodded as Chris took out his knife and pumped it like a gun as it clicked. Jill took out her shotgun (sorry, I meant grenade launcher) as she aimed it for one. Chris held his knife out as he shot two rounds of bullets into the hunters chest. The grenade destroyed the second one as they struck a pose in front of the explosive flames.

"Damn it! I cannot allow this to be!" Alfred yelled before the branch broke causing him to fall in front of the dangerous duo. Jill picked Alfred up.

"What do you think we should do with him?" She asked as the weak man tried to break free of her grip.

"Lets take him hostage. If she does end up grabbing Claire again we'll be able to trade him for her." Jill smiled as Alfred cowered in the hands of the two sketchy characters.

… **Outside The Dark Castle …**

"Alright. I take it the both of you know what to do?" Sherry and Brad nodded as Brad flew the blond squirrel over the giant wall. Rebecco and the others waited outside for a short while before the gate door opened up. They walked in as Sherry giggled.

"First entrance opened. Ready for phase two!" Rebecco petted the squirrel before proceeding to the front door. She pushed on it slowly as it creaked open. The squirrel ran in as fast as she could. It was Sherry's job to search the castle for where Claire might be.

Rebecco, Leon, Sheva and Berry walked in as they explored the castle. They looked through every door they could find but found nothing of any immediate interests.

"Mahahahah! The day I have been waiting for shall finally be here!" Rebecco clapped her finger to her lips as they all nodded and slowly walked towards the voice. They stopped around the corner as they listened in on the woman.

"What is she talking about?" Sheva asked as they stayed quite as possible. Leon swatted his head feeling an itch. He looked out as a cobweb was stuck to the top of his head. A spider crawled down his forehead as he shook with fear before screaming out.

"Who dare intrude on my kingdom? Seize them!" They went to run away as two hunters stood behind them. They grabbed Sheva and Leon as Rebecco and Berry took off back the way them came only to be stopped by a giant tentacle.

"Alexia! Your evil ways must come to a stop at once!" She looked down at the group of misfits.

"Well yes, that is a given. But… who are you?" They looked at each other.

"Well, I'm Leon. This is Rebecco and that's Berry. And that over there is Sheva." She glared at Leon.

"Oh I get it. I'm put last just because I'm black!"

"No. Your put last because you're a beast who would be better off living with a pack of wild hyenas who would probably abandon you because they would find you too annoying." Berry held Sheva back as she prepared to lunge at Leon.

"Enough! Why are you here?" Rebecco stepped up.

"Where here to take back princess Claire!" Alexia looked confused as she paused for a moment before speaking to them in a calm voice.

"I don't have Claire." They all looked around as a long awkward silence filled the room.

"Well we've wasted enough of your time. We'll take our leave now." Rebecco said as they began to walk out.

"Hold it right there! You have proven that you may be some kind of… threat to my overall plan. I cannot simply allow you to leave." Her tenticles swoop by as they threw the four of them into a giant tube which closed down on them.

"What are you going to do?" She smiled as one of her tentacles slashed off the tip before sticking itself into the open hole on the top of the tube. It leaked out green juice as it slowly filled the chamber.

"The liquid contains a virus that will slowly morph you into a monster." "You mean the Veronica virus?" Rebecco asked as Alexia smiled.

"So you are found of my work. Yes it is Veronica but not the direct virus. I don't have enough to waist on you. This contains small portions of it but will transform you over time. So you'll be no more normal then these henchmen." Two hunters walked out as they watched the tube. Alexia laughed as they tried to think of a way out.

… **Forest …**

The chamber doors opened as the giant monster Nosferatu appeared. He powered over the trees as he moved forward quickly with echoed screams. The forest shook from the distance as a second monster appeared. The giant monster known as G who was inserted with the G virus rose above the trees as he started at Nosferatu.

"It looks as if there's no other way." Steve stood by his kingdom as he fell to the ground. He let the Veronica virus run through his veins as his eyes turned yellow and grew sharp. His body grew above the trees though the smallest of the three. His skin turned green as he roared.

Claire stood in the middle of the havoc as she looked helplessly at the three giant monsters. She took a deep breath as she looked at the tree in front of her.

"Alright. If I can scale this tree I should be able to get to them. Hopefully I'll know what to do when I get up there." She said to herself as she started climbing the tallest tree she could find.

… **Alexia's …**

Sherry escaped from the vents as she walked up to the glass.

"Sherry, you have to get us out of here and fast!" Rebecco whispered as the squirrel looked around desperately only to be spotted by a hunter. He chased her as she ran up a tube. She inhaled a large amount of air as she prepared herself for what she was about to do next. A loud, high pitched, annoying squeak emerged from her as it echoed the room. The hunter fell over in annoyance as Alexia rose from her thrown, cover her ears with her hands.

The glass of the tube shattered as the screaming came to a stop. Before Alexia could round them back up, a loud roar echoed from not so far away.

"The fight! It has already begun!" Alexia exclaimed as she made her way to the roof. Rebecco hugged the squirrel as she thanked her. Leon whipped off his jacket in disgust.

"It's a good think that none of us suffered any actual transformation or side effects from the icky gooey slime stuff." Leon announced before they all looked at Sheva and screamed. Her skin was glowing with a green tint as she looked obliviously around.

"What? Is there something on me?" They all ignored her as the roaring continued. They made their way outside as they looked up at the festivity.

Claire grabbed onto the tip of the tree as she looked in fear as the three collided. They fought as they tried to destroy the other. The roaring didn't stop as the continued to collide. Claire looked in fear as everyone focused up at her. She swung from the tree as G fell back onto the ground.

The tree shook viciously as she flew off, flying in the air as she screamed. The yellowed eye monster watched as he threw Nosferatu to the ground, running to catch the falling Redfield. He reached out as she grabbed onto his nail, hanging for her life. He lifted her up as she climbed onto his palm, running up his arm as she hugged his giant head.

"Steve! I don't care that you're a monster! I love you!" With her eyes closed, she pressed her lips against his cheek.

She opened her eyes as she saw Steve in total shock. The Steve was different from before. It wasn't the cool and calm Steve from before but the annoying greasy haired freak she tried so hard to ignore. She broke the kiss, spitting onto the table beside her bed. She looked around only now realizing she was in a hospital room. Everyone beamed down at her. She looked up screaming frantically.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked as she crawled as far away from him as possible. He stood in front of her in his leather outfit. Jill pushed him aside. "You scared her you moron." Claire took a deep breath as she panted.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Jill smiled as she showed Claire her pirate outfit.

"Were going to an early Halloween party and this is our costumes. Chris lost a bet." She giggled as she stroked her finger up and down his arm.

"Not cool guys! Arg. I had the weirdest dream. And you were there, and you, and you!" She pointed to the door as Alexia stood looking into the room. They all looked at her.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, still recovering from his kiss.

"If you must know! I… read and sing to the children here. I've been doing it since I was younger." She blushed as she walked away.

"How are you feeling?" Jill asked as she leaned over the bars of the bed.

"Fine. How long was I out?" Chris looked at his watch.

"For about three days. You hit your head pretty hard." She rubbed her now mentioned head as she remembered about her migraine.

"I don't even remember what happened." They all looked at Chris.

"You realized you were running late for your show and decided to run on ahead to get the peas yourself. You ignored me and slipped on the wet floor which was covered in oil that had fallen off the shelve. You grabbed the shelve but it ended up coming down with you. It landed beside you but you hit your head hard on the ground." Claire jumped out of bed.

"Damn it! I can't believe I missed my show! ARG!" They all laughed as they walked out, giving her some time to recover. Chris grabbed Steve as he pulled him back.

"So… you kissed my sister." Steve blushed up as he looked up at the leather wearing hulk. He shrugged down as he stumbled for words.

"Y-yes sir." He cracked his knuckles.

"If you lay a finger on her I'll put these straps to use." He walked away as Steve fell to the ground in confusion, satisfaction, and horror.


	9. Channel Surfing

**Resident Evil**

**CHANNEL SURFING**

… **Rebecca's Lab/Apartment …**

Rebecca sat in her lab as she fixed a recent invention she had failed at. She sighed, placing her vibrating phone on the desk.

"I can't get distracted. I have to finish this first." She ignored the incoming call as she picked up the new weapon in her arsenal. She gasped, dropping the object as she heard a bang at the door. The object smashed hard onto the table as it shot a beam that ignited her cell phone in a bright light before it turned off. She picked up her phone as she went to answer the door.

"Package delivery. Please sign here." The UPS man held out the forms in front of her. She sighed as she signed and took the package inside, placing it on the table. She looked at her phone, pressing the on button with no effect.

"Damn…" She sighed as she walked into the living room. She went to the kitchen, planning to make herself a snack before she continued her work. She stopped as she turned, looking at the static filled television that had turned itself on. She cautiously walked up to it, turning it off as she turned back to the kitchen. The television turned itself on once more.

"I don't need this right now." She sighed as she looked in the back of the television, playing around with the wires as she inspected it. Her head drew out as she looked at the fuzzy screen.

"Nothings loose, nothing pulled out. Every wire is in its designed place. I don't see wha-" Before she could finish, a sharp screeching came from the screen. She closed her eyes and covered her ears. The screeching soon passed. Rebecca opened her eyes, dazzled and confused about her surroundings.

Her jaw dropped as a man walked in though the door. She felt her knees shaking as she grew into a large smile.

"It… It.. It's Einstein!" She moved aside as he made his way to his desk. She looked at him in fascination.

"Who's the messy haired freak?" She smacked the person behind her.

"That's Einstein! The most amazingly brilliant man who ever walked the earth." She turned as she saw Barry standing behind her.

"Barry! What are you doing in my fantasy?" He tilted his head.

"I don't know about the fantasy part. All I know is that I heard my cell ringing but when I answered it I somehow got sucked into the television." She thought about this before swallowing her fear.

"I think… that was my fault. The ray that hit my cell must have dialled my contacts and sent the wave though their cells which reacted to their television sets, turning them into electronic waves which sent their consciousness into the programs they were previously watching. I wonder who else got the call.

… **Channel 52 …**

"I told you this was a crappy movie." Chris sighed as they watched the three panicked teens running wildly through the woods.

"I thought that with a titled like _The Blaire Witch Project_ there would at least be some brutal murdering." Chris looked over to his girlfriend.

"So do you know how we got sucked into this place?" Jill shook her head.

"For some unknown reason I feel like I should blame Rebecca." Chris walked through the woods, trying to find some kind of way out. The girl ran towards them, screaming like an idiot. Chris, with a tightly made fist, flew at her as she fell to the ground.

"So it looks like we can interact with these people." Jill rolled her eyes as she walked past him.

… **Channel 44 …**

Claire looked up at the man, her arms wrapped tightly around his leg as he dragged her around the airport.

"What the hell do you want woman!" Claire drooled as she looked up at Bruce Willis, her arms wrapped tighter around his leg.

"You're my hero! I love you! Have my babies!" He waved his foot rapidly in the air as her grip loosened.

"I have an airport to save!" Claire flew off his leg and landed on her butt. She leaned up as she watched him walk away.

"Yippee Ki-Yay Mother F-"

"Shut up!" He yelled back as he walked away. Claire collapsed on the ground, her heart beating fast as she sighed with a smile stretched across her face.

"Who was that? He looked like a total looser compared to a man like me." Claire glared at Steve who was leaning against a structured pole.

"Just when I thought my day couldn't get any better, you showed up and ruined it all." He huffed as he went over and helped her up.

"So why are we in an airport?"

"I know why I'm here. To meet the man of my dreams, which I did." Steve grinned as he flicked his hair back.

"Oh really?"

"Not you, you dim wit." She looked around as she sighed.

"Alright Steve, lets try and find a way out of my dream world so that you can go home and we never have to speak again." He ignored her comment as he fallowed behind.

… **Channel 25 …**

Leon looked around as he stood in place. He watched as twelve-year-old kids jumped from building to building above him.

"Where the hell am I and who gave these kids firearms?" He pulled out his gun, aiming at a yellow haired child wearing an orange jumpsuit. The child fell to the ground as his weapons fell beside him, holding the bullet wound.

"What the hell?" A white haired man with a mask said behind him.

"What? He was resisting arrest… plus he pissed the hell out of me. Believe this you freak." He pointed the gun as he shot the child in the leg as a pink haired girl landed beside him.

"Oh Naruto! How will I ever go on? Now that you're dying I finally realize all my feelings for you. I don't know how I'll ever be able to concentrate once your gone. Oh me! Oh, oh, oh-" Her paragraph came to an end as Leon pulled the trigger. He turned to the man behind him.

"Alright, I'll reword you on that one." Leon looked around as he saw the biggest group of freaks he had ever seen in his life.

"This is worse then that time I accidentally walked into the transvestite bar." The man slowly walked back. Leon looked over at a noodle stand which was filled with screams.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Claire Redfield, betch!" Leon lightly smiled as he walked up to the stand, seeing Claire walk out from behind the counter.

"Long time." Claire looked as she ran over to him.

"Leon! What's going on?" He shook his head.

"I don't know. I was flipping through the channels and randomly ended up here. To be honest I can't wait to leave." He looked behind her shoulder as Steve stood behind Claire.

"Claire darling, who's this?"

"This is Leon S. Kennedy. He's a police officer working for my brother. And don't ever call me darling again." She turned to Leon. "Oh, and this is Steve… something." She said without much enthusiasm.

"So how did you guys end up here?" Leon asked, trying to change the subject.

"We were walking through the airport and went through a door which brought us here somehow." Leon looked around, his eyes stopping in distance. He pointed to the sky.

"Do you see that?" Claire looked closely.

"It looks like static."

"That'll probably be our way out." Claire walked beside Leon as Steve fallowed behind them, crabbing about having to travel with Leon under his breath.

… **Outside Claire's Apartment …**

Aleixa stood in front of Claire's door with Alfred beside her. She raised her fist in anger.

"I will finally get my revenge on Claire Redfield for talking that last miniskirt at the clothing store last week! She will rule the day she ever went up against the Ashford's!" She laughed maniacally as Alfred spaced off, drooling from the thought of Alexia in a miniskirt. She face palmed before smacking him.

"R-right! I have the tools you asked for here dear sister." He pulled out a spare key that had gone missing from Claire pocket last week. He unlocked the door as she laughed louder.

They walked inside slowly as Alfred snuck around the corner. Alexia pushed him out of the way as they entered the living room.

"Claire Redfield! I am here to-" Her pointed finger fell as she looked at Claire. Her body was laying flat on the ground, drool emerged from her lips. Her body stood still.

"Do you think she's… dead?" They looked back at her before slowly walking out of the house and booting it down the street.

… **Channel 07 …**

Chris, Jill, Barry, and Rebecca sat at a table in a diner. They chucked pieces of food at Kristen Stewart and a very pale Robert Pattinson at the table next to them.

"God, what a suck fest. I think I'd rather be in _Lord Of The Rings_ then in _Twilight_." Rebecca announced as they watching what was suppose to be a serious scene. Edward walked up to them as he stood at the edge of the table.

"Your free to leave at any point of time. If you don't mind, we would like to continue this scene in piece. And I hope your sister Claire is stuck in some volcano somewhere." Chris rose form his seat as he cracked his knuckles.

"What was that glitter boy?" Edward went to talk again but was cut off by Chris' hand which smashed into his cheek, separating his head from his body. Chris turned to Bella as the others rose from their seats.

"The other thing that kills vampires are Redfield's." She smiled like a little school girl as she shot a wink at him. Her daze came to a halt as a bowl of soup smashed into her face, complements of Jill.

… **Channel 45 …**

Claire, Leon, and Steve walk around the forest before hearing a kid scream.

"There is no way." Claire said in an angry tone as she ran to the opening in the woods. There was Sherry, laughing and screaming as she was chased around by a tentacle monster with two large arms. She looked over at them.

"Claire?" Claire walked up to her, pushing the creature onto his back.

"What the HELL is that thing?" Sherry looked at it before answering.

"That's Tangrowth, the evolved form of Tangela… It's a Pokemon Claire." Claire looked at the thing in disgust.

"That's not a Pokemon!" Sherry argued with Claire as Leon and Steve watched them from far back.

"My Pokemon could kick your ass!" Claire laughed sarcastically as she pointed to Steve.

"Steve could kick your Pokemon's ass! Get over here!" Steve gladly ran at Claire's barking command. Her jaw dropped as he shimmered in a bright light. When the light had vanished; before Claire was standing a Beedrill wearing Steve's jacket and wristbands.

"Tangrowth, attack!" Sherry squealed as its arm stretched out towards Steve.

"Stevedrilll, dodge it then kill the bastard!" Steve flew out of the way as it flew down, drilling into the tangled creature, throwing it high into the sky. Sherry screamed as Steve buzzed around here as Claire laughed.

"Come on you little brat!" She said with a smile on her face as she pulled Sherry up by the collar.

"You suck!" Sherry yelled as she kicked Claire in the knee. She dropped her as Steve flew close, stabbing Sherry in the butt.

"Will you guys all settle down?" Leon yelled out, having enough of this.

"How did you even end up here?" Claire asked as she rubbed her knee.

"My mommy forgot her cell on the living room table. When it rang I saw that it was you and decided to just ignore it but then the TV went all fuzzy. That's when I found myself in one of my daddies dirty movies that he doesn't let me watch. There were girls with skirts shorter then you Claire! I think I saw that nice officer Jill in a blue tube top and a black mini skirt in there too." Claire ignored her as she pulled her away.

They walked through what seemed like an endless forest before stopping, hearing rustling in the bushes. Steve took the front, smiling as he prepared to protect the others. Unfortunately Steve's braveness went unnoticed as Chris and the others popped out.

"Chris!" Claire ran to him as she leaped up and hugged him.

"It seems as if everyone is here. Now, it's important that we get out of here as soon as possible." Rebecca announced.

"And why's that?" Leon asked as he looked around the skies, trying to see an exit point. Everyone stared at Barry as he walked to the front.

"What happened to you?" Claire asked in shock before bursting out in laughter.

"Bay got a little too… 'involved' in _Bruce Almighty _and got a boob job instead of Jennifer Aniston." Jill explained as Barry looked down at the new pair of large breasts.

"Wow. You have a larger rack then anyone here." Leon said with a smile as Barry huffed.

"Joke all you want but their killing my back!" He looked over at the Steve bee.

"It look's as if he was affected as well. If we stay any longer we'll completely be sucked in by the shows." Rebecca said as Claire walked up to Steve, rubbing her finger under his chin.

"I like him a lot more like this. I can finally think." (Claire's head: _I can't believe I actually met Bruce Willis! He is so sexy. I am so putting this in my journal. Bruce Redfield. Claire Willis. He-he-he._) They all stared at Claire as drool fell from her lip.

"Okay… I think we should go this way." Chris led the way as they all fallowed. Claire looked up a few miles in to their walk.

"I think were getting close. I can hear buzzing." Leon looked in back of him.

"I don't think that's what it is." Claire turned around seeing Steve hovering behind them. From his lips emerged a constant and annoying buzzing. Claire sighed as she continued to walk, only turning back five minutes later as the buzzing continued.

"My likeness for you is quickly fading." Her attention was cut short when they stopped in their tracks. They all looked below the cliff as the static covered the bottom.

"Look's like were jumping."

… **Channel 49 …**

They all stood up, covered completely in snow. They brushed themselves off as they looked around.

"This somehow seems familiar." Jill announced as she rubbed her arms. Chris removed his jacket, placing it over Jill's shoulders.

"Leon… Long time no see." He turned swiftly, recognising the voice.

"ADA!" He said in a deep voice. The others, however, were more occupied with the creature beside her.

"It seems as if we have a problem." Ada said as she looked down.

"Chris, Jill, Barry. Long time comrades." A giant lion said as it stood beside Ada wearing a pair of dark shades.

"Captain Wesker?" Jill said in a shocking voice.

"What about me?" Rebecca whined feeling left out as Chris patted her on the head.

"Let us find a way out of here." Chris and Jill walked beside Wesker as the others fallowed behind, Leon and Ada at the very end of the line.

"How do you know Wesker?" Leon asked.

"I don't. He came in here and so we decided to find a way out of here together. I hope we get out of here soon though, I'm starving." They reached a spot in the woods until the exited through an oversized closet.

"Speaking of closets, have you thought of coming out of one Leon?" Jill asked as Claire and Chris giggled behind her. Leon looked at her with a confused expression, deciding to ignore her question instead of edging her on.

"Who are you people?" Four kids stood in the door frame as they all stared at them. Wesker walked up to them, letting out a loud roar as the children ran out screaming and crying.

"Alright, now I feel better." Wesker smirked.

"You are truly evil." Chris said as they all split up. They spent ten minutes looking for an exit before Claire and Rebecca ran to meet the others.

"We found it!" Claire said as they lead them to the place. The all crawled under the carpet feeling more awkward then ever.

… **Channel 5 …**

They all looked around the black and white area, confused as to where they were. Claire looked down seeing a bold set of sub titles.

"Damn. I hate movies in foreign languages." They watched as the screen switched from different pictures until it stuck to one of a well. They looked a head as they saw the static. Their attention then turned to a girl climbing out of the well.

"That must be our way out. Let's hurry!" Rebecca said as they ran past the girl. Chris shoved her out of the way as Jill took the lead.

"Sorry but were in a hurry." Chris said as the girl went flying back, screaming as she fell down the well.

… **Rebecca's Apartment …**

Leon, Claire, Steve, Jill, Chris, and Barry all stood in the living room with Rebecca as they discussed the situations.

"So my phone called Chris and Barry. Chris' phone called Claire. Claire's phone called Sherry and Steve. Barry's phone called Leon and Wesker. And Leon cell called Ada. That should show on everyone's call history. Any calls after that means that we have a serious problem." They all checked their phones once more to make sure no one was left behind.

"There's one problem with that." They all looked a Leon as he checked his call history before showing it to the others.

"I don't see anything." Jill said as she looked in closer.

"That's the problem. I never called Ada."

"Well you're the only one who has her number. If it wasn't you then who called her?" They all thought about this before deciding to go out for a pizza, leaving it a mystery. Claire placed her hand on the door of the car as she looked into the distance. She waved before getting inside. Alexia watched as Claire left, fainting as she mistook her for a ghost passing on.


	10. Hide & Seek

**Resident Evil**

**HIDE AND SEEK**

… **Alexia's House …**

"Holy crap! This is really your house?" Claire looked around the hotel room on the bottom floor. The room was larger then four of Claire's apartments put together and not as fancy either. Claire, Chris, Jill, Leon, Sherry and Steve all stood in the door frame. How they got there started with a game of hide and seek on the streets of downtown New York.

… **Flashback Time! …**

"Okay Steve, you found me. So stop holding onto me!" Claire shook him off as she stood against the wall. Steve waited for the cars to stop as he spotted Chris across the street, only to be defeated by the amount of traffic that came. Claire jumped up as she cupped her hands together. "Chris! He found you!" Chris still shrugged behind the garbage can as Jill yelled form behind them.

"What?" Claire turned around, not seeing the blue ninja.

"I was talking to Chris!" She turned back before hearing another cry from the alleyway.

"Huh?" She walked to the alleyway.

"I was telling Chris that Steve found him!" Leon walked out and stood beside them.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked as he stared at Chris.

"I thought you said you found me." Claire face palmed.

"Alright. We have to find somewhere else to play." She picked up her cell as she called Chris, Jill, then Sherry as they all met up. Their heads turned as they looked at a laughing Alexia.

"You are not worthy to play hide and seek in the streets! It's three o'clock and rush hour on this street. You fail miserably! I'll save you the embarrassment of getting hit by a car, even though it would be entertaining, and let you all play in my grand hotel suit." They all looked confused at the overly generous Alexia as she began to walk away.

"Should we fallow her?" Claire whispered to Jill as Alexia turned to look back.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" They all jumped as they slowly fallowed behind her. They stopped at the grand and famous multi-million dollar Ashford hotel.

… **Back To Alexia's …**

"Alright. Feel free to hide anywhere in the house that you would like as long as you don't leave through the door. You'll have three minutes to hide. And finally since we're using my place I declare that Claire is the one who is it." Claire shrugged as she turned around and started to count.

"Alright, here I come!" She turned as she faced the giant room. She walked around the room, looking carefully with each step she took. She stopped as a cracking noise came from above her. She looked up as her finger stretched out.

"Found Steve on the ceiling fan!" He yelled as the fan snapped and he came crashing down. Claire walked around as she looked under the furniture. She sharply turned as her finger pointed out.

"Found Lady GaGa!… Oh, never mind. It was just a lamp." She turned her back to the tall, white shaded lamp. She walked through one of the doors to revile a kitchen. She walked around it, huffing as she kicked the tied up back. A small gasp came from it as she stood still. She kicked the bag harder as she heard a squeak. She ripped it open as she threw a banana peel off of Sherry's head.

"I found the little brat!"

"Hey!" Sherry chased after her as she ran off laughing. She opened the next mystery door to reveal Alexia's room. She pointed as she yelled out.

"Found Alexia!" Alfred turned to face Claire wearing his sisters purple dress and blond wing. Claire's finger slowly dropped.

"Well… this is embarrassing…" He rubbed the back of his head as he deeply blushed. An echo was heard from the next room.

"Alfred, get out of my room." Alexia yelled in an angry tone as her brother ran off. It took Claire a moment of laughter before she could continue searching. She looked under the bed before going to the closet and pulling the doors open.

"Found Leon, ironically in the closet." He glared as he walked out to go wait with Steve. Sherry tagged alone with Claire as she went into the next room. The room was dark and didn't have much in it. It was very poor lighted and had a music box that continuously played the Ashford lullaby.

Claire shook off the goose bumps that grew on her arms as she entered the cold room. Sherry held on closely as they walked further into the room. She walked towards the box only to stumble over Sherry and fall against the wall, knocking over the trick candle revealing a secret door in the wall.

"Found Chris!" He sighed as he walked out from the small space.

"And it took me forever to find that door! I was sure you wouldn't be able to find me." He went off into the other room as Claire giggled. She entered a door as it slowly pushed open.

"What's taking so long?" Sherry asked as Claire waited with her arm's crossed.

"Give it some time. You can't rush these things." The door opened as they walked into the science lab. They looked in aw as they walked around the machines with the flashy buttons. Claire turned over as her finger readied itself for pointing.

"Found Alexia in the test tube!" Her eyes opened as the fluids drained out. She stepped out as she took off her jump suit.

"I was sure I would trick you with that one. So who's left then?" Claire counted on her fingers.

"I found all but Jill so in total that makes six people." Alexia glared at Claire as she recounted.

"That makes five." Alexia huffed out as she walked out.

"I know! I was just… testing you!" She walked after her as she returned to the living room. Alexia stood in front of the ceiling fan on the ground with wide eyes.

"Sorry… I kind of broke it…" She shrugged.

"I'll just get someone to replace it." She said as she pushed the maid button on the wall.

"You should replace it with something cool. Like a disco ball!" Steve suggested as Alexia giggled out a laugh. The maid walked in with a brook and dustpan as she swept up the fan which was twice the size of the pan. She went to leave before turning around and screaming, falling to the ground. They all looked up as they saw Jill handing on the ceiling.

"Found you Jill!" Claire yelled out as Jill fell to the ground gracefully. They all laughed before looking at each other.

"Well that was fun!" Claire said as she looked at Alexia. Alexia gave her a warm smile.

"You know, your not as weird and crazy as I thought you were. You're pretty cool." Alexia smiled at Claire.

"Same goes for you." Chris smiled.

"It looks like this will be the start of a wonderful friendship." They all looked at Chris.

"Are you trying to encourage them or coming out of the closet cause either way that sounded gay." Chris glared at Jill as they all laughed. All was at peace that night.

… **The Next Day In Central Park …**

"You blond haired gypsy!" Claire yelled out from one side of the park.

"Your head is filled with no more then squished strawberries, much like your dull hair colour!" Alexia yelled out from the other side.

"It looks like things are back to normal." Chris said as he sighed. Sherry ran up to Claire as she kicked her in the knees. Claire fell down as Alexia laughed and Sherry ran around in circles.

"Yup. Just like one giant retarded family." Jill said as she watched the three idiots running around.


	11. Instructional Video

**Resident Evil  
INSTRUCTION VIDEO**

… **Begin The Video …**

"_Welcome to the instructional video of various things. Today helping us will be younger sister and attractive biker, Claire Redfield. Say hello Claire."_

Claire looks at the camera as she waves,

"Hell-"

_"That's enough out of you. Now for our first lesson. Cooking."_

Claire appears inside a well lit kitchen.

"_First we will need the fallowing. An apron, bunny slippers, a chefs hat, a fake pair of bouncy eye glasses, whore lip stick, and every kitchen wouldn't be complete without a tattoo of a fat man on a tricycle." _

Claire looks at herself in the mirror as she screams with horror.

"_Of course, everything after the apron is completely optional."_

Claire removes everything but her apron (and her clothes).

"_Now when cutting something, make sure the room is well lit. Never cut in the dark. Now grab the knife Claire." _

Claire picks up a knife as the lights shut off. They return as Claire looked at her hand.

"WHERE ARE MY FINGERS?"

_"Thus the reason why we should never cut in the dark. Next is working the oven." _

Claire hesitantly started the oven as it warmed up. She looked at her hand as her fingers returned.

"_Now be sure to spray cleaning solution into the oven before you cook anything."_

Claire smiled as she bent down to the open oven and pointed the bottle. She pulled the trigger as the kitchen exploded.

"_Just kidding, You should never spray anything into an oven that is already warm, especially not anything flammable." _

Claire turned to ashes as her eyes blinked around.

"_Next is lesson two. Vehicles."_

Claire stood by her motorbike as she smiled. She softly rubbed the side of the bike.

"_As long as you remember three things while on a motorbike, you will be fine. First is to never go too fast. Second is never drift between moving traffic of two different directions. And finally, wear a helmet. However that last option is not mandatory." _

Claire nodded as she hopped on and drove off without a helmet.

"_Now as we watch our demonstrator Claire, we will see why step three is the most important and is indeed mandatory."_

Claire drove down as she sped towards the changing light. She closed her eyes tightly as she passed through, making it to the other side. She sighed as an old lady with a walker crossed the street. She easily dodged it as she flew high into the air after hitting a bump. She grabbed tightly to the handles as she landed past the row of police spikes and cheered.

"_No matter what luck you have…" _

She heard the sirens as she came to a stop with a soiled look on her face.

"_You can never outrun the law." _

He wrote her up a ticket as she grabbed it. A loud horn blew as a truck smashed into the parked Claire.

"_And of course, never park in the middle of the street."_

Claire glared at the camera in a full body cast.

"_Now then, for lesson four. Job Searching." _

Claire looked confused as she returned to normal.

"_What? Are you wondering about lesson there?"_

She nodded.

"_Well I was going to skip it for your sake but if you're so interested then alright. Lesson three, Power Tools." _

Claire face palmed as she cursed in a silent frenzy.

'_When plugging in the power drill make sure that the plug is dry and not wet." _

Claire cautiously pushed the plug in.

"_Next, make sure to face the drill away from your body as you start it."_

Claire held the drill a foot away as she hesitantly pressed the trigger. It began to spin as she brought it closer.

"_Now you may work on your project."_

Claire put on her goggles as she began to work. The finished project showed a tall television unit.

"_Very good. Be sure to fallow the complete instructions when creating your project or stick to your blueprints."_

Claire bit her lip as she heard a crack. The TV unit collapsed on top of her body.

"_Get back up my little helper. We shall move on to Job Searching." _

Claire shuffled the resumes as she smiled for us.

"_Be sure to bring out enough resumes so that you don't have to keep running back to the house. When searching for a job, be sure not to go into sketchy places."_

Claire entered a metal door in the urine covered wall with graphite marked with cussing. She entered the whore house as she took a glance before running out as fast as humanly possible.

_"Be sure to look your best."_

Claire looked from head to toe as she gave a thumbs up.

"_And always be careful to watch out for landmines." _

Claire jumped as she looked at the ground as nothing happened. She signed as she advanced forward. A car zoomed by as it slashed dirt filled water on her, ruining her clean clothes. She huffed as she stomped forward, kitting a landmine as she flew high into the air.

"_Lets talk about lesson four as we now have this opportunity. Aircrafts."_

Claire continued to fly high in the air before being hit head on by an airplane.

"_Umm… never mind that. Let's just move onto our final lesson for the day."_

Claire smashed into the ground as she rubbed her head, looking up at the camera with a giant smile of hope.

"_To lesson five then, Lion Taming."_

Claire smashed back onto the ground before being forced back up in a Mexican bull fighting suit. She looked down as she held a chair and a whip.

"_Now we will watch as you bravely stick you entire head into the mouth of the lion we are bring."_

Claire turned around with an evil grin as she whipped the video instructor.

"_What are you doing? This isn't in the script!" _

Claire walked up to him as she bashed the camera with the chair.

"It's called payback."

The background consisted of screaming from the instructor as the snap of the whip flew wildly. The lion fell from the sky as it looked around before falling asleep.

… **Claire's Apartment …**

"And that was the first video I was ever in." Leon, Chris, and Jill all stood up as they walk away murmuring out loud.

"Okay Claire. Sure you did."

"I can't believe I wasted ten minutes on that story."

"I knew I shouldn't have worn this miniskirt."

Claire looked around as they all left.

"_And thus, Claire Redfield was never believed. Though she did learn one very important lesson. Always look out for landmines."_

She bashed her head on the table as it exploded.


	12. Saturday

**Resident Evil**

**SATURDAY**

… **Downtown Comedy Club …**

Claire sat around the circular table with Chris, Jill, and Steve. She grunted as the lights started to dim.

"I don't see why I let you drag me into going with you guys. Not to mention taking Steve with us." Steve smiled as he focused onto the stage.

"Leon was busy with work and I thought you might wanted to come with a friend." She huffed as she sunk into her seat. They sat through three comedians until Claire's attention focused completely on the stage.

"And now, put your hands together for the comic act of Miss. Alexia Ashford." The owner announced her as Claire shot up, her mouth dropped.

"Thank you everyone. So I was downtown yesterday and it was so hot. I was walking around in a TUBE top. Get it? A TUBE top. Because I was in a tube!" The audience fell silent as Claire face palmed.

"So you know how your in your lab and you accidentally drop a vile of chemical toxin? Well normally that thing is strong enough that it would kill you. Luckily for me I just grew a few extra arms." She lifted her hands up as five green tentacle plushies dropped from her dress. A silent clap emerged from the audience as it slowly faded.

"Thank you. Your so kind. You know what is not kind? Summer. I hate when summer comes around because I end up having to shave my tentacles. Get it, their like legs!" A drum beat emerged as she turned to Alfred.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" She stretched her palm as her hand emerged in flames. She then looked over at the audience.

"Oh my. I've worked my hands too much and now my wrist are on fire. Get it? Because their on fire but I made it sound like they were just burning with pain! Fire? Mah-mahahaha!" The fired settled as the club returned back into a deep silence. A cricked echoed through the house.

"Someone kill that cricked! The funniest thing happened the other da- CLAIRE REDFIELD!" She pointed to Claire as she shrugged back into her seat.

"Claire Redfield! I see you've come to laugh at my amazing comedy act! Well prepare yourself for the amazingly brilliant jokes I am about to reveal!" Her hands flew up as birds fell from her sleeves and smashed onto the ground.

"Oh… birds need water…" She kicked them away as she smiled at the crowd. Claire smashed her head against the table.

"It's going to be a long night." They all sat as Alexia went on and on… and on.

"Get it? Nitro-glycerine? Mahahahaha!" Claire turned to Chris as he shrugged.

"Well, at least it couldn't get any worse." Claire leaped over the table as she grabbed onto his shirt and violently shook him.

"Why the hell would you say such a thing! Has television taught you anything? Now things are going to get much, much-"

"Claire?" Claire's head slowly turned as she looked down. Right behind her seat was a small blond haired child.

"S-Sherry?" Claire cracked her head back to Chris.

"You're so dead." He shivered as Claire returned to her seat and Sherry climb up to hers. Claire sat there in silence as Sherry gave her a second by second detail of what's been going on in her life. A few minutes later Alexia left the stage as they all prepared to leave. Jill stood up, yawning.

"Well… I think it's safe to say that this night couldn't get any worse." Claire's head twisted as she glared at Jill.

"Those are fighting words tonight." Chris whispered to Jill as they stood outside.

"So were all going to get a bite to eat. Do you want to join us guys?" Steve smiled as Sherry clapped.

"We would love to." They both answered as Claire imagined continuously smashed her head into the wall behind her.

"I need a drink." She pointed to a corner store as Chris, Jill, and Steve stood outside the club. Sherry stayed close behind Claire as she lightly tugged on the bottom of her shirt. They got into the store as Claire looked around before going to the clerk.

"Do you have any Red Bull?" The clerk looked at her, confused.

"Je suis désolé. Que recherchez-vous?" Claire looked confused until she realised the corner store was at the edge of a completely French part of the neighbour. She took a deep breath as she prepared herself.

"Do you speaka English! I need to find le Red Bull! DO YOU HAVE LE RED BULL!" This just confused him more as she mumbled to herself. Sherry coughed as she looked up at the clerk.

"Je parle français." Claire's head slowly turned down to face Sherry. She stared at her for a moment. Her hand came down as she slapped Sherry. Sherry looked up all teary eyed as Claire pointed down to her.

"Don't ever make me look like an idiot in front of a complete stranger again!" And with that, they left the store empty handed. They met back up with the others as they went to the restaurant. They all sat around as the waitress came up to their table.

"What can I get for you all?" They all gave their order as Claire was last.

"I would like the cheese burger deluxe… ah, just make it a double." The waitress looked down at her.

"I'm sorry miss but we don't have any cheese burgers here." Claire sat their for a moment staring at the menu. She looked back up at the waitress.

"I woulda like les cheese burger. DELUX CHEESE BURGERZ LE." The waitress backed away.

"I'll give you a few more minutes." She walked away as Claire's head smashed into the table. She decided it would be best if Chris ordered for her. They waited as their food came. Claire looked down at hers with a twitchy eyebrow.

"What… is this?" Chris shrugged with a worried look on his face.

"It sounded like something you'd like…" She looked down as she picked up a large piece of purple lettuce covered in the house dressing. She then looked at the center of the dish.

"Is this… chicken or ham?" Steve looked over.

"I think it's turkey." Sherry looked at it as well.

"No no, it's baloney!" Claire poked at it with her fork as it fell apart. She glared up at Chris.

"I'll switch with you if you'd like. I'm kina curious to find out what the mystery meat is." She looked over at Jill, down at her chicken sandwich, then back at Jill with puppy dog eyes.

"Thank you!" Jill smiled as they traded plates. After Chris and Jill split on the bill they all left into the cold streets.

"Winter is coming." Sherry announced as she skipped down the street. Claire glared at her as she sipped the coffee she got to go.

"So what kind of meat was that?" Steve asked Jill as she shrugged.

"Honestly, I think it was fish… but it tasted great." They laughed as Claire sighed. Sherry left them soon after. Chris and Jill walked home together as Steve walked by Claire to her place. They walked in silence which surprised Claire.

"Steve?" He looked up at her with a smile.

"Yeah?" She stood at her doorstep as she looked up. A drop of rain fell on her cheek as she looked to him.

"Want to come inside to wait out the rain?" He looked around.

"But it's not raining." And like on cue it started to pour. He walked inside as he closed the door behind him.

… **The Next Morning …**

Leon walked in as he heard laughing coming from the bedroom. Curious, he walked through the door and stood their with an open mouth. "Stop it! Hahaha!" Steve bent over Claire as he grabbed onto her sides on the bed. Leon cleared his throat as Claire turned her head, instant blush.

"Leon…" Steve let go of Claire as she fell.

"Ouch! Geeze… Anyways." She stood to her feet. "He only stayed the night to wait out the rain. He slept on the couch." Steve walked up to Leon.

"You don't need to explain yourself Claire. Our love is none of his business." Claire walked past him as she stood beside Leon.

"Umm… Steve. Me and Leon are…" He took a moment before blushing. Without another word he left the apartment.


End file.
